Hi!

TW: Suicide, Self Harm, and Depression are mentioned. 

My name is Giovanna Milliken and this is my story. My mother had always struggled with mental health. I vividly remember times where I had walked in on her doing something I should have never seen. On October 30th, 2019, my mother took her own life while I was in my room. The day had gone by like it usually did. She took her morning shower, as I got ready for school. She drove me every morning since my dad picked me up. She dropped me off, we had been fighting the last couple days so we didn’t speak much in the car. “Bye, see you later. Love you.” I said to her as I walked into class. Little did I know that would be last time I’d see her again. The school day was good, I found out I got a role in the school musical and I vividly remember her being the first person I told. “I got the role!!” was the last text I sent her. My dad picked me up and took me home, but had a gut feeling something was off. He had gotten a couple texts and calls from her co workers asking if he knew where she was. She never showed up for work. Before he decided to go back to work, he thought he should check if her car was home and it was. He knew what had happened. Rushing in, he found her and immediately called for help and sent me to my neighbors next door. Deep down, I knew. I knew it was the end. He got me and drove me to a nearby parking lot where a close family friend picked me up and took me to her house, where I would wait for my dad to come. I was scared, anxious, and afraid of what was happening. Continuously calling, texting, worrying, not knowing of what was to come. Hours past and I hear a knock at the door, so I open it. It is my dad, but I see him like I have never seen him before. There are tears in his eyes. I sit down and I hear “Mom died.”. The whole world, as I knew it, crashed down on me at that very moment. It felt like the world was spinning and I couldn’t contain myself. My best friend is right by my side and breaks down too. The house is flooded with friends, coming to comfort me and my dad after this traumatic event, but even they are at a loss for words. Now, since I have experienced this level of pain and grief, I’ve been able to learn new things about the mental health world, but also my mother. It turns out my mother was bipolar, but was so ashamed and in denial that she had this disease she never told anyone. This also means she never got help, that caused her to end her life. I created this organization to show people that it is okay to have these struggles and to never hide it. It is a hard thing to deal with alone and you shouldn’t have to.